"So I have some bad news. Your position is being eliminated..."
And just like that, on a routine Thursday afternoon, an abrupt and unavoidable change comes. How do you react? To me, there is only one response that must be reached as quickly as possible. How am I going to use this? It's situations in life like this that I'm grateful to have spent time implementing Stoicism as an operating system. It's a philosophy that sees the big picture, immediately considering second and third order consequences and asking, "how can I find the opportunity embedded in this obstacle?" Central to Stoicism is the understanding that external circumstances are never fully in our control. The only thing fully in our control is our actions in response.
I've been here before. I clearly remember a similar conversation during my years as a Junior hockey player and the inner panic that followed. "Things have changed, and you no longer have a position here. Best of luck." I recall the emotions, the uncertainty. In that case, the next day I had calls from other teams and was off on a new adventure that would turn into one of the best experiences of my life. I wouldn't yet have to face fear of the unknown. I still had this strong identity to cling to, a future of university and pro hockey ahead. The closer I came to the end of this planned future, the more I became absorbed with uncertainty. I'm so thankful to have discovered the resources to deal with this loss of identity in a healthy way. I recognized the need to diversify my sense of who I am, to not confuse my worth with what I do. Character isn't dependant on career choice or how you make money. It's far more important than that. Character is built over a lifetime of choices, habits, and responses to adversity.
In his book AntiFragile, Nassim Taleb describes the central illusion in life, that "randomness is risky, that it is a bad thing- and that eliminating randomness is done by eliminating randomness." He gives the example of a banker and a taxi driver. Each career has risk, however the bankers is hidden by the regularity of salary and employment. He is immune to small shocks, but exposed to large unseen risk of that stable salary going to zero in an instant. On the other hand, the taxi driver experiences a natural randomness in his daily fluctuations of fares, and can therefore continually adjust to avoid large shocks. I realized this exposure to risk on an intellectual level, as evidenced by my much highlighted copy of Taleb's book. But the whole point of reading is to have reference for action. I hadn't done enough to mitigate that risk. Now it's been demonstrated to me. Without such an abrupt catalyst for change, risks of comfort would continue to compound.
So what now? This is a defining moment, one of only a few in life. That feeling in your gut doesn't come every day. Things you were unwilling to look at are finally exposed. As Ryan Holiday outlines in Ego is The Enemy, in life we are constantly in transitory positions of aspiring, succeeding or failing. Each is an opportunity to understand ourselves and our own mind better. Get back to first principles, re-focus. To be anti-fragile is not only to endure challenge but to be strengthened by it. Breathe, and incorporate this opportunity to continue building an internal strength that thrives in both success and adversity.