““Refrain from following the example of those whose craving is for attention, not their own improvement.”
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It's very important to be aware of the underlying intent of your actions, of what is motivating you. This site and my writing is an extension of a continuous search to learn, to apply learning, and to discover gaps in my knowledge.
I kept finding that things I thought I understood didn't stand up to scrutiny. So often things seem to make sense in my head, but when asked to explain in conversation I'm constantly shown how much there is left to learn and discover. I write to make sense of things, to try to put my thoughts into words so that I might narrow the gap of my ignorance, and dismiss any misguided sense of ego I get from feeling like I know something.
The above quote from Seneca really resonated with a thought I kept having during recent conversations: Are you talking about this because you care about this person and want them to improve, or are you speaking to try and demonstrate how smart you are? Think deeply about the purpose and intent behind your speech, your thoughts. Develop the art of listening and conversation, searching for flaws in your understanding. What does this person have to teach you that you're missing because you're too busy trying to feed that voice inside that feels inadequate, insecure?
With all the world's knowledge available in our pocket, being smart is much less valuable, or at least needs a better definition. What's increasingly rare and important is seeing the connections between ideas and actually applying them in situations that call for it.
In each stage of life you find yourself in, there's always room to seek improvement. Forget credit. Focus on improving. The aim should be to absorb all the reading and time spent learning enough so that it becomes a part of who you are. To constantly learn and refine so that it shows with every action, confident that the work you've put in will show through without seeking attention for it.